the infinity promises

 The past few days have been not good. Thus, I promise myself I will be more productive tomorrow. I promise

Another thing is, I need to remind myself to make peace with myself. Stop thinking of finding a life partner. 

Finding 'the one'

"You will attract, the who you are". 

One of the sentences I read in one of the books. I think it's by Mizi Wahid. Well, the words really hit me. 

Why? Because I am so sure, I will attract the bad ones. Since I am bad, not a good muslimah yet. But, I want to a good husband who will guide me. 

Please, you have to wake up Shifaa. You can only get someone good if you yourself are a good muslimah. Allah has promise. Not in the world, maybe in Jannah. 

Lesson learnt, to get the best, to enter jannah, I have to improve myself by being a good servant of Allah. Yes, I want to change, to be someone bertaqwa. The highest level of people is paling bertaqwa. I want to enter jannah and meet Rasulullah. 

The story about the apps, people just be swiping right just to make their profile better. I think. I shall stop the thing with the app. This is the reason I am not a writer, my story just go everywhere. 

Covicted Random Thought

On 7th March 2022, I have tested positive covid. Got to taste the covid, my nose really hurt. I thought it's due to I inhale too much cigarette smoke. After work, I decided to perform another test, because my runny nose and sore throat doesn't feel right. Tadaaa! it's 2 lines. 

Started quarantine on 8th March 2022 until 13th March if the symptom is gone. I pray so. I don't think I can survive too long in a house. I start to overthink. I started to compare myself with other people. I start to belittle myself for still being single at the age of 30. 

At one time I am okay, another time, I just lost it. I am so good at looking down at myself. 

I hope Allah will forgive me. I know, I have every person who loves me and do not care if I am single or not good. They just love me for who I am. I know that too well. This is the bad side of me staying alone. 

May Allah guide me and make me a good servant. I want to visit His house. I want to enter Jannah. The highest Jannah. If maybe I'm not married in this world, I pray that Allah will give me the best husband in Jannah. I pray that, Allah will provide Hani with the best person that is love by Allah. 

I love her too much and I pray that she gets the best in everything. 

#Thank you #laniamaa

My first time in Nippon Sushi. Overall experience is great. Thank you for always took me out. ♥️

Allah Knows Best

Little did I know, I need to do this thing. 

Few hours ago, I'm getting ready to go out. And suddenly the laziness come. I am lying on the floor looking at the ceiling. Ready to give up the day. But, I stand up and drag myself out from the door. Wanted to buy baby breath at Lee Wah Florist but too many people lining up. So I just trying my luck at The Merchant's Lane. Got to sit down and have their Better Than Sex dessert with iced latte. Between the munch I read Erti Beragama Yang Hilang. Subhanallah, my mood just lift up and I felt a bit calmer. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah. If not because of You I will not feel like this. Thank you Allah for always be with me. ♥️

tired

 I am tired of being me but I do not want to be somebody else. Maybe I am just tired of living.

Such an ungrateful human I am

Entering 2021

Been thinking for quite a while now. I think I'm going to settle down being single. I am not going to find a life partner anymore. I am going to stop.

May Allah always be with me. Oh Allah can I give up?